


Gravity of Love

by antennastohell



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Jotun!Loki, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antennastohell/pseuds/antennastohell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yes. I suppose your father told you most of it," the king of Asgard answered. "Thor is my only son and the future king of this realm. You will be his queen, forming a permanent peace treaty between Jotunheim and Asgard. I have full faith in the both of you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Lion Man

**Author's Note:**

> My other story that was originally posted on ff.net. It will be continued and finished on here.

“It's getting to the point  
Where I'm no fun anymore  
I am sorry  
Sometimes it hurts so badly  
I must cry out loud  
I am lonely  
I am yours, you are mine  
You are what you are  
And you make it hard.”  
-Stephen Stills

* * *

 

 

When he first arrived in Asgard, he was scared. The small Jotun clung to his father’s right hand as his vision became clear. Around the small child was a dome of gold, something he had never seen. Jotunheim never had such buildings. Wide red eyes looked up to his father, King Laufey as he spoke to other being in the structure.

“Heimdall.” he greeted, his tone even as ever.

“King Laufey.” the booming voice of the Aesir replied. “Is this your son?”

“Of course. This is Loki,” the Jotun spoke, no compassion. However, Loki simply stared at the golden god, not caring as to what his father was doing. Heimdall looked down at the small frost giant, seeing a usual loneliness most Jotun children possessed.

“He is small for a Jotun.” the Asgardian commented, walking down the steps that had been built in the middle of the dome structure.

“Do not remind me, Aesir,” the frost giant king growled. “However, Odin chose this child for a suitable reason. As Jotunheim has lost the war, we will gratefully give such a runt to keep the peace strong.” he explained. Loki’s eyes never shifted from the armoured Asgardian as he leaned over.

“Welcome to Asgard, child,” he spoke, his tone as even as any Jotun. Loki blinked and managed a small smile in return. “There are two guards outside that will bring you to Odin.” he said as he stood up straight once more. Laufey nodded simply to this and led his son out of the golden building, where two guards –also in gold- took them across the bifrost.

As the quartet made their way towards the golden city, Loki stared down at the millions of colours swimming under them, coupled with golds and silvers weaving around with them. The small Jotun was shocked to see something so beautiful. Why did Jotunheim lack such beauty? Was it not a realm that competed with Asgard? All these thoughts swirled around the little frost giant’s head as they entered the city. Loki looked up to see his father transform before his very eyes. Blue skin gave way to a pale complexion and black silky hair cascaded over royal green and gold robes. As the change of his father completed, it traveled on through to the hand Loki was using to hold his father’s bigger one. A soft gasp sounded from the child as the same pale colour over powered blue and black hair fell into his eyes. His almost naked body had been clothed in similar robes to the other Jotun.

“What has happened?” Loki managed to say, quiet enough for only his father to hear. The now vivid green eyes of his father looked down upon him and a sigh emitted.

“Do you want the eyes of all of Asgard upon you, Loki?” the voice –the same as always- questioned, the tone almost challenging the younger’s intelligence. The small boy looked ahead and pouted slightly.

“No. I do not, fath- Laufey.” Loki answered, correcting his mistake. He remembered the time he had, like his other brothers, called the king of Jotunheim father. While his brother’s had not been beaten, Loki had quickly become subject to such floggings. He knew not why, but he figured it was most likely something to do with his height, or lack of it that earned him such ridicule.

“Snap out of your thoughts, frost child.” the king of the ice realm ordered as they entered the court yard of the castle of Asgard.

“I am sorry. Forgive me.” Loki replied softly, shaking his mind of such horrid memories. Laufey raised an eyebrow, but continued to stare at his weak child.

“Do you remember what I told you, Loki?” he asked, the tone yet again questioning the younger Jotun’s brains. Loki let go of his father’s hand and began to count off on his pale fingers.

“One, bow to Odin. Two, be polite. Three, bow to royalty. Four, always use elegance and propriety. And five, treat my future husband with the upmost respect and to become a great queen and wife.” Loki recited perfectly, pleased that his father actually smiled.

“Good, good. There is one more thing, however,” he said as they stopped at the doors of the throne room. “This rule is the most important of all.”

“What is it?” the younger of the two asked, curiosity eating its way into his stomach. Laufey leaned over and looked the young frost giant in similar green eyes.

“Never. I repeat _Never_ , show Asgard your Jotun form. These people will reject you and throw you out if you show such a monstrosity. Always keep your glamour. _Always_ , Loki.” he whispered, his eyes flashing red before melting back to the vivid green. Loki’s eyes widened, but he nodded quickly. He dreaded being rejected from his soon to be home and would do anything to stay.

“I would never dream of it, Laufey.” he breathed, the promise evident in his voice. The king of Jotunheim nodded, satisfied with the answer. He stood up straight and took the young boy’s hand as the doors to the throne room opened.

“Come then, child.” the older Jotun ordered and walked gracefully into the lavish room. Loki looked around, bewildered at the beauty of such a room. The carpet under his now covered feet felt foreign yet exciting to him. So many small detailed enthralled the child as they made their way towards the throne. The group walked by many Asgardians, all of them curious to whom they might be. Loki gave each a sheepish smile, but gasped as his father yanked him to stop.

“Laufey. What a surprise,” a voice, not as low as the Jotun king sounded off. Loki’s gaze drifted up to land on a bearded man who was beginning to rise off of his throne. “If you would have warned me of your coming, I am sure we would have cleaned up better.” the king –most likely- spoke.

“Today is a day as good as any.” Loki’s father answered and kneeled. Loki quickly followed, his left knee hitting the soft plush of the red carpet.

“No need to kneel. Up, up,” the bearded male smiled and walked down the steps. The man stopped in front of Loki and leaned over like Heimdall had not minutes before. “You must be Loki Laufeyson. Welcome to Asgard, child.” he said, the smile never ceasing. Loki smiled uneasily as his father forced him to stand, letting go of his hand afterwards.

“Thank you. It is a beautiful realm.” he replied as politely as possible. The Aesir seemed pleased at this and placed two hands on the child’s shoulders.

“It is. However, I have not introduced myself,” the man smiled softly. “My name is Odin and I am king of Asgard.” he greeted, causing Loki to smile more.

“It is a honour.” to this, Odin laughed full-heartedly.

“You have a polite son, Laufey,” the oldest of them amended, standing up straight once again. He was about half of the Jotun king’s height, but possessed more muscle.

“I have raised him to the manners of Asgard.” the other man replied. Odin exchanged glances with the bigger of them and looked around.

“Where is Thor?” the king of Asgard asked one of the many servants. The redheaded girl walked over and spoke to Odin before leaving the hall quickly. “I suppose I should introduce you to my son.”

“Son?” Loki asked. “My future husband?” to this, Odin looked at Laufey carefully before returning his gaze on Loki.

“Yes. I suppose your father told you most of it,” the king of Asgard answered. “Thor is my only son and the future king of this realm. You will be his queen, forming a permanent peace treaty between Jotunheim and Asgard. I have full faith in the both of you.” the bearded man preached, causing Loki’s pride to swell. The king of Asgard said he had _faith_ in him. Something that his own father had neglected to say. The other king frowned at his child’s awed expression. While he didn’t care about the runt Jotun, he cared very much about Odin’s kindness. The one reason such a display was happening before him was because Asgard had been the winner of the last war. He stayed silent however, for the child was almost out of his hands. The king of Jotunheim had little to no intention on keeping peace with such a disgusting realm. It was merely a way to get his first born out of the way for his superior children to take over, the ones that _did_ learn the hatred. The carnal desire to take down the glorious realm of Asgard. He shook himself of his thoughts as the redheaded servant entered the hall with a beautiful woman, hair golden and face brightened with a smile. Walking next to her hand was a preteen, older than Loki by a century or so. The boy had golden hair that fell to his shoulders, much shorter than Loki’s. Blue eyes held excitement, the same happiness of who appeared to be his mother. They stopped a few feet across from the group, the two youngest automatically locking eye contact.

“This must be Loki!” the woman, Frigga, cooed. “Welcome to Asgard! You sweet child.” to this, Loki blushed and twiddled his thumbs.

“Thank you,” he smiled and gave a small bow. “You must be Frigga, foremost among the goddesses. It truly is an honour to meet such a beautiful lady.”

“You are such a polite child.” she thanked and looked at her son, whose gaze was set on the younger boy.

“You are Loki?” the blond male asked finally, earning the eyes from everyone in the room. The dark haired boy nodded slightly as Thor took a step towards him. “You are male though. How will you be queen?” he asked, not hatred but curiosity in his voice.

“Young Aesir,” Laufey interrupted, becoming bored of this. “My son is fully capable of being a daughter as well. We have no technical gender and can present ourselves as any. We have a default gender but it is loose and can be changed at any time.” the king of Jotunheim explained. Thor looked at the older frost giant in shock, then at Loki.

“Is that true?” he asked, his stare beguiling the strange creature in front of him. When Loki nodded, Thor beamed. “That is amazing! What a queer concept!” he laughed, a sound so pleasing to Loki it caused butterflies to flutter in his stomach.

“Show him, Loki.” Laufey grunted. The child looked at his father and nodded before looking back at Thor. He closed his eyes as his skin began to shimmer and turn transparent. As soon as it did completely, the colour came back, but instead of a boy, Loki had become a small female Asgardian, her hair still halfway down her back.

“Oh my.” Frigga gaped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, yet a huge smile made its way onto her face. Odin smiled slightly and looked at his son, whose eyes were the size of dining plates.

“That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!” Thor exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He kneeled before Loki and smiled up at him. “You are so exotic. It is a pleasure to finally meet you!”

“Thank you.” Loki blushed and stared intently as Thor took the Jotun’s left hand, bringing his left hand to his lip and giving it a chaste kiss. Finally, after many years, he felt whole.

He felt loved.


	2. Heavy In Your Arms

"Being of no power to make his wishes good:  
His promises fly so beyond his state  
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes  
For every word."  
\- William Shakespeare

* * *

 

 

Loki sighed and leaned against the cool golden wall, his eyes set on Thor. It had been years since he first arrived in the realm of Asgard. He had grown to be a young man, but nonetheless, he still felt as though he was a child in his future husband’s eyes. Green eyes took in the sight of the Golden prince laughing with a young woman, hair as golden as his own. The Jotun born man looked down at his shoes, scowling at the jealousy that tugged at his heart. While Loki was about to hit the age to become queen of Asgard, he had struggled through the past few years because of the prince across the large hall. While Loki read books of magic and charms, his future husband would be out hunting, drinking, sparring, or bedding a beautiful maiden. This had upset the trickster greatly, so much he had gone to Odin with worry over Thor. _His Thor_. 

The only answer he was given was:

_“Loki, you must understand. A queen’s duty should be, but is not always love. You are to rule with him and give him an heir. I wish things could be different, but this is what Thor wishes.”_

The words ringed in the young boy’s ears, causing a dull headache to manifest in the back of his skull. Looking back up, he saw Thor twirl the girl’s hair between two fingers while giving her a look that Loki knew only he deserved. Before he could think about leaving the Jul festival all together, a figure sat down quickly next to him. “Hey you,” Loki automatically looked at the owner of the voice to see his suspicions confirmed. His long-time friend Sigyn was sitting next to him, concern blatant on her delicate features. “What is wrong?” 

“Her,” Loki frowned, pointing across the room. “Him.” he added. The blonde nymph followed his gesture until her blue eyes fell on the site that was most likely causing her friend such discomfort. Her concern turned to rage as she stood up, pulling the future queen with her. 

“That imbecile,” she spat, putting her hands on her hips. “I wish you were not betrothed to him. I would steal you away from him.” to this, Loki sighed heavily.

“Sigyn. You know I love him. Aside from you, he is one of the few that shows me kindness,” Loki answered. “No matter how much of a dolt he is, I care far too much to leave him.”

“Bless your heart, Liesmith,” Sigyn smiled then, elbowing her friend in the side. “I think even more than stealing you, I wish for the Thunderer to see what he has. Really see.” she amended. The Jotun looked at her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You and I both, my dearest.” he agreed as the girl swung around to come face to face with him. His eyes widened as she leaned in close, their noses touching.

“Pretend to make eyes at me.” the blonde ordered, her eyes sparkling with mischief. As much as the younger of the two hated to admit it, the two initially became friends because they both had a love of tricks and various mischiefs. While no one on Asgard enjoyed such activities, the two other world children adored them. Over the years, the two had become unbelievably close, to the point where they spent almost every day together.

“Why on Asgard would I do such a thing!?” Loki asked, bewildered by his friend’s command. He watched as she raised an eyebrow, biting her lip like she always did when she had a good plan. The idea came to him, causing the not born Aesir to smirk. “Ah… Of course I meant: why on Asgard would I not?” he purred, cupping her left cheek. 

“You are too kind,” she giggled and looked over as a square set began. “Grand Chain¹, Loki.” she hinted, her tone sultry. 

“Would you care to be my partner, beautiful maiden?” he asked, bowing properly. Sigyn laughed and curtsied as Loki took her hand in his. 

“I would be delighted!” the young nymph chirped and dragged the Jotun born to the dance floor to begin the grand chain with the rest of Asgard. When they took their places, Loki glanced across the circle to see Thor staring back, a frown set across his usually cheerful features.

‘What in Hel are you doing?’ the thunder god mouthed to his future wife. Loki blinked, and then smirked slightly.

‘Same as you.’ he mouthed back as the music began. All of the eight couples in the square set faced each other and took each other’s hand. They swung and Loki let go, watching Sigyn go clock wise, taking each man’s hand for them to swing her onto the next male. Loki gracefully took each woman’s hand, swinging her on as he traveled counter clockwise around the circle. 

When Sigyn came to Thor, she met his icy stare. 

“I don’t know what you are trying to do.” he commented and swung her on. Sigyn looked back and glared as she weaved her way gracefully to the reel. She connected with Loki again and smirked.

“Got him.” she muttered happily before weaving around clockwise once more as the reel demanded before going into the next set. When she approached the future king, she smiled sweetly.

“You don’t want him. What do _you_ care, you dolt?” she spat and continued on, leaving Thor in shock. The two tricksters made it back to each other and Loki began to swing her around gently, locking his arm with hers’.

“What did he say?” Loki asked, his green eyes filled with interest. Sigyn grinned and leaned in, whispering in his ear.

“He said, “I don’t know what you are trying to do” while glaring right at me. So cold.” she pouted, not overly caring if the thunderer hated her. The Jotun born smiled slightly at Thor’s display of jealousy. 

“That is all I need. Really, I don’t want to get him upset or it will storm for days.” the male of the pair mused as the grand chain started again. The dance wore on, Thor and Sigyn saying nothing more, only glares exchanged between the two. As the reel finished, the couples ended next to each other, clapping with the rhythm before the fiddler ended the song. Whoops and various cheers echoed in the hall as a new group of couples replaced the exhausted ones. 

“I think the future king wishes council with his queen.” Sigyn muttered, shoving a thumb to the side. Loki looked in said direction and sighed at the sight of Thor leaning against the open doors of the hall. Blue eyes met green and a simple ‘Come’ was mouthed before the blond left the festival. 

“If I do not make it, you may have all of my possessions.” Loki mentioned, hugging his friend tightly before letting go and beginning to leave. Sigyn pouted and watched her best friend begin to walk off.

“Even the books?” she called out, laughing while doing so. The Liesmith looked back at her and chuckled.

“Even the books!” he yelled back and turned around, making his way down the hallway. He was not entirely sure of where he was going until he felt a strong hand grab his right forearm, pulling him to meet the owner:

Thor. An angry Thor.

“It confuses me,” the blond began, eyebrows furrowed as he dragged the Jotun born into his massive chambers, decorated in golds and reds. “That even though you know you are mine, you choose to blatantly make eyes at a nymph nonetheless. Right where I can see you.” the future king of Asgard explained, letting go of Loki’s forearm after slamming the doors closed. The dark haired male watched him carefully, always cautious around the hard-headed man pacing in front of him.

“Thor, you do the same!” Loki protested.

“It is different!” Thor fought back when he stopped pacing. The future queen frowned and walked over to his future husband.

“No it is not!” Loki argued. “I am to be your queen and _every_ single time I walk into a room, you are trying to court a maiden!”

“As if you care!” the blond shouted, his blue eyes mirroring the storm beginning to rage outside of the palace.

“What on Valhalla made you think I would not!? I _love_ you! You just cannot realize what you have in front of you! You never could, thunderer!” to this, Thor looked taken back as thunder boomed over their heads. The sounds of wind howled from outside as the future king finally took Loki’s words in. The pale skinned man sighed as the Aesir in front of him dropped to one knee. 

“Is this true?” he asked, looking up as the wind began to die down. The Jotun sighed and dropped down into a crouching position, his green eyes locking with blue. 

“Of course it is,” Loki defended, his voice soft when all he wanted to do was scream. “I have always loved you. I wish you would stop making eyes at maidens in the palace. We will be married soon and I do not want this for us. I only hope you will choose to not take a concubine as I have.” the younger of the two explained. Thor furrowed his eyebrows again, the storm gone from outside once again. 

“And Sigyn?”

“To make you realize how much you hurt me.” the future queen said simply, smiling solemnly. Blue eyes widened and then narrowed as the blond looked away from his soon to be wife.

“I am terrible.” the laugh accompanying it cynical.

“You can be. I can be as well,” Loki chuckled softly as he cradled Thor’s face in his hands, the stubble scratching against his palms. “Do you promise not to do such a thing any longer?” to this, the older of them chuckled, pulling them both up to stand.

“I promise.” Thor said with a smile, hugging the younger one tight to his chest. Loki sighed and hugged the golden prince. He knew this promise well. A promise Thor couldn’t help _but_ break. 

‘You are what you are,’ he thought, his eyes slipping closed. ‘You make it hard.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Grand Chain is a square set in Scottish Cheilidh dance. I know, “GirlThorisNorsenotScottish.” Guess what? I care not. Only dance I know and it’s hella fun.


	3. Shipwrecked

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy,  
but to be angry with the right  
person and to the right degree and  
at the right time and for the  
right purpose, and in the right way -  
that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”  
\- Aristotle

* * *

 

Loki had a problem. 

Perhaps not a realm wide problem, but it was still substantial enough to unnerve the Jotun greatly. 

Thor had been away for almost two weeks, as most men did when the plans for marriage began. Especially if one was a warrior. Hunting for the feast commenced weeks prior and ever since the warriors three, Odin, and Thor had left the main city of Asgard while hectic planning for the biggest wedding in centuries commenced. 

The wedding was not the problem, though. Loki only wished that standing for hours in his female form while a seamstress made him a dress fit for a queen _was_ the problem. His dilemma was far more substantial than that. Now that Thor was gone, someone had taken interest in Loki. Someone that happened to be Thor’s half-brother, Balder.

Baldur the beautiful.

Rumours had circulated that the Jotun born and Asgard’s crowned prince were not on speaking terms, which was one hundred percent true. Contrary to Thor’s promise, he continued to flirt with women. Loki took it for a month until finally, he snapped. A yelling match that impressed even Odin -the master of screaming- took place the night before Thor left, one so chaotic five guards, one king of Asgard, and one all seer had to be called in. The morning after, Loki awoke to hear that Thor and the rest had left already. 

And this angered him more than the screaming match itself. He believed that talking to Thor would solve things, not leaving on a two week hunting trip. While he simmered in his anger, Baldur had approached him and Loki quickly figured out that Thor’s own half-brother was interested in him.

Loki thought at that point, his life couldn’t get worse. He was wrong. When he approached Sigyn about it, she laughed.

Sigyn loved every second of it. It was almost like a theatre performance, which she also loved. She watched Baldur try to make eyes at her friend every morning and did nothing to help. This morning was no different. When Loki politely excused himself from Baldur’s presence, he quickly grabbed the nymph by the hand and dragged her out of hall he ate breakfast in, or would have if Baldur didn’t ruin his appetite. 

“What do I do!?” Loki asked when they reached Sigyn’s garden, something the blonde was quite proud of. Sigyn laughed loudly, a sound so clear it made Loki want to hit her. “This is not amusing, friend! He is certain about his love for me. While it is sweet, I love Thor. No matter how much I dislike the thunderer at the moment.” he furrowed his eyebrows. Sigyn waved a book in front of his face and smiled. 

“First of all, listen to this glorious description of your admirer,” she giggled and sat him down on the grass in her garden, beginning to walk around and dramatically read from the Midgardian collected book _Gylfaginning_. “The second son of Frigga is Baldur, and good things are to be said of him. He is best, and all praise him; he is so fair of feature, and so bright, that light shines from him.” she said in her sing song voice. Loki groaned and rubbed his face into his palms.

“You are _hardly_ helping, Sigyn!”

“Hush! This is the greatest part!” she laughed, continuing on. “A certain herb is so white that it is likened to Baldur's brow; of all grasses it is whitest, and by it thou mayest judge his fairness, both in hair and in body. He is the wisest of the Aesir, and the fairest-spoken and most gracious; and that quality attends him, that none may gainsay his judgments.” she proclaimed, collapsing on the grass next to her childhood friend in giggles.

“Are you happy now? Yes, he is loved by every Aesir, but I am not one,” Loki whispered, lying down next to her. “Thor is the only one who will ever hold my heart.”

“Well, maybe you should realize he does not feel the same. You think he will quit after you two are married? Unlikely, my Jotun friend.” she whispered back, to which her friend tensed.

“I have not been able to show him such. You know I cannot get to him through feelings and proclamations, Sigyn.” Loki sighed, his vivid eyes filled with sadness. Sigyn looked at him and mirrored a sigh to Loki, gathered the male in her arms. 

“I know, I know. He is quite visual and physical. Listen, when your wedding night comes, you will show him he will _never_ need a concubine.” Sigyn sympathized. Loki smiled slightly as the girl let go of him, scooting back to her position. 

“It is unfair. I just have so many feelings for him and I wish he showed the same. _Felt_ the same.” he confessed. Sigyn sat up, pulling him to the same position. She placed her hands on the young man’s shoulders and smiled.

“Soon you will be strong enough. Soon you will show that thunderer how much you love him. No one said life was easy, but this is your calling. You have been waiting centuries for this and Baldur will not get in the way, and neither will any wench. You are going to get the best of everything. You have been so good to that imbecile.” to this, Loki hugged the blonde tight.

“You are a wise and beautiful woman. I would be in a wreck without you.” the Jotun born thanked her as she hugged him back. 

“And you are a caring and handsome man! I would be truly lonely without you!” she thanked him as well. “You must cheer up. Baldur is beautiful, but you know what you want. Do not let anyone distract you from such ideals.” she encouraged. Loki sighed heavily, smiling all the same.

“Thank you, Sigyn. That makes me feel much better. Is there any way we could get breakfast without someone professing their love for me?” he asked, managing to laugh. The blonde nymph giggled and stood up, pulling Loki up with her. 

“Of course. Let us go,” she winked as Loki’s skin shimmered, reanimating as a woman, brown hair cascading over her shoulders instead of black. Blue eyes met blue, causing Sigyn to twitch. “You are almost too good at that.”

“It is quite innate.” Loki mused, her eyes sparkling as she wrapped an arm around Sigyn. 

“Thor is going to love you.”

“Let us hope.” Loki smirked as the two women walked off to get another chance at breakfast.

 

* * *

“Are you nervous at all?” Frigga asked, watching her soon to be son-in-law, which was right now a daughter-in-law. Loki looked at the older woman and smiled uneasily.

“Very. How did you calm your nerves before your marriage to Odin?” she asked, her now black hair being pinned out of the way by the seamstress. The queen of Asgard laughed softly and watched Loki twitch as a pin poked her in the side.

“Hmm, well the night before I sobbed and fretted about if he would think me beautiful,” the blonde woman recalled. “However, the day of was very relaxing. They will take you to a bath house where you bathe in scented water. After that, you are dressed and they fix up your hair. It is all very nice. However, the minute I walked into the hall, my nerves were at an all-time high.” Loki grimaced at this, knowing she would feel the same.

“Frigga… Thor does not even love me,” she sighed. “What am I to do? I just want to show him I am worth loving.” to this, Frigga smiled sweetly, standing up and walking over to her future daughter-in-law. 

“Loki, you will show him. You are a gracious, beautiful boy. Just give him time, for Thor will understand soon. You will show Asgard that it matters not whether you are born an Aesir or a Jotun. Anyone with the right morals can be queen of this beautiful realm.” the golden haired woman explained. "Besides, my husband and I did not see eye to eye for centuries. It will come, my dearest."

“Thank you, Frigga.” Loki smiled softly, her green eyes shining with happiness. The older of the two rolled her eyes and touched the future queen’s face.

“Call me mother, Loki. You are a part of this family and you will always be welcome to see Odin and me. If you ever have a fight with Thor, come to me. You are not alone here. You never were,” the blonde assured, looking around at the corseted back. “That needs more work.” she said to the seamstress. Loki twitched at the poking of a pin against her back and sighed softly. 

“Alright… Mother. You know, it almost seems dream-like. As if I will wake up and this will all be gone. Replaced by Jotunheim, by cold and loneliness.” Loki mused as a servant girl walked into the room briskly, whispering in Frigga’s ear.

“They are back?” she asked, before hearing yells echoing into the room. Loki blinked, as Frigga ran out to the hall. The first voice was obviously Thor, but the second was not so familiar to the Jotun born. The seamstress sighed and looked up at Loki.

“Alright, I guess you should interrupt that. Let us get that dress off, eh?” she smiled tiredly and began undressing the future queen. Loki looked at the older woman and nodded slightly.

“I suppose so. Who is the other voice?”

“Baldur.” the woman answered simply as the dress dropped in a pile at Loki’s feet. The younger woman’s eyes shot open as she jumped off of the platform. As she walked across the room, her skin glittered, returning Loki to a man. Clothing animating itself over his skin until he walked into the hallway, fully clothed. His boots hit the floor with purpose as the not Asgardian made his way towards the yelling. When he reached the hall, he entered to see Thor yelling at Baldur, who looked furious with the crowned prince.

“As if you give him any love! You deserve him not!” the god of light yelled back. Thor growled and felt the strong arms of his father and another guard holding him back.

“He is my future wife, not yours! Do well to not touch him, brother!” he argued, his eyes alight with hatred. Loki made his way down the stairs, walking by Frigga and stopping directly between the two sides. 

“This has to stop!” Loki cut in, silencing the two men at once. The two men’s eyes landed on the Jotun born. Green eyes shifted before he walked over to Baldur. He took the Aesir’s hands in his and sighed softly. 

“Do you not see? He is no good for you.” the white haired man expressed, his eyes filled with sadness. The future queen of Asgard furrowed his eyebrows and looked into Baldur’s blue eyes.

“I… I do see,” the Jotun born began his voice not over a whisper. He heard Thor behind him arguing with Odin and continued on. “You are as gracious as you are beautiful, but Thor has had my heart since the day I walked into this realm. Baldur, Thor is not the most sympathetic man, but he is kind and caring when he needs to be.”

“… Loki, I wish you could see another way. Until he realises what he has, I will always be an option for you,” Baldur replied. “It pains me to see someone so beautiful forgotten by one who is hardly worthy of your affections.” to this, Loki smiled slightly and hugged the Aesir briefly before stepping back.

“Thank you, Baldur.” he murmured before turning and glaring at his husband. Stormy blue and poison green locked as the two came together. Silence filled the room like a calm before the storm. 

“Who do you think you are?” Loki asked, breaking the tension wide open. Thor’s face twisted before settling on anger.

“You have been busy.” Thor accused, ushering his gaze to Baldur. Loki’s eyes followed, then snapped back.

“Excuse me? You accuse me of adultery? Thor, we are not married and I _still_ am more faithful than you!” the younger of the two challenged. “If I even talk to someone you feel the need to slander the promises I made! That I, unlike you, intend to keep!” this caused the Thunderer to become silent. Odin and Frigga watched carefully, nervous at the sudden quiet in the room. 

“… Just stay away from him,” Thor growled, ignoring Loki entirely. Baldur’s eyes locked with Thor’s, causing a static hatred that everyone in the room could feel. “He is to be _my_ wife, not _yours_.” the crowned prince of Asgard warned before storming out of the hall. The Jotun born watched Thor leave, heaving a heavy sigh.

“Just give him some time.” Frigga said softly as Odin placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“She speaks true. Thor will come to you when he comes to terms with his self-embarrassment.” the king of Asgard agreed. Green eyes looked ahead to where Thor had left and eyebrows furrowed together.

“I suppose so.”

 


	4. Breath of Life

"There are no men like me."  
\- Loki

* * *

 

For the majority of the evening, Loki stayed in his room. The cold winter of Asgard –summer like for Jotunheim- had given way to a wet spring, leaving the future queen of Asgard with a certain sadness. Rain hit against his window, the only sound aside from his breathing present in the large and empty room. He brushed his loose black hair back behind his ears, eyes widened when a knock came upon his door. 

“Hello?” he asked apprehensively, his voice small in the momentary silence.

“It is Thor,” the gruff voice of Loki’s future husband announced, but not without an amount of guilt laced in with it. “May I enter?” at that moment, Loki opened his mouth, but found no words for once. He fixed his messy hair, clothing animating itself onto his body. 

“Of course,” the younger of the men answered, placing a gold bookmark in the section of his book he would have to abandon. He placed it on the nightstand as the door clicked opened. He looked down at his splayed hands as it closed. When the Jotun born finally looked at the future king of Asgard, he was making his way towards the bed. A mix of emotions brewed behind blue eyes, causing Loki great heartache. “Thor.” he sighed.

“Loki… I cannot even begin…” the blond male trailed off as the smaller of them patted the bed. He accepted the gesture and sat down, gaze locking immediately. “I am _so_ sorry. I should not have left. It was a poor choice.” he explained, watching green eyes slip closed.

“Thor, your apologies mean little these days. You have nice words, but to you, they craft no truth,” Loki explained, his eyes opening again. “They are simply words, words, words. No meaning, no substance. I find it stressing that we are to be married in a week and you bed a maiden, fight with me, and then proceed to leave without a word to me.” the Jotun born expressed solemnly. Thor frowned and looked down to see pale hands tracing invisible designs on his own. 

“Loki, I am sor-“ he began, but was cut off by being shoved, his back hitting the headboard of his future wife’s bed. His neck snapped back, hitting the wooden board. He groaned and looked at the man who had pushed him, eyes widening. Gracefully, the non Aesir moved onto the dizzy blond’s lap, shoving the broad shoulders back against the headboard. 

“Do not say sorry,” Loki warned, his eyes narrowing. Thor looked once at the glare and shrunk against the headboard. Never had the Jotun born pushed him, glared at him with such anger. The Asgardian man knew he was in trouble. That his future wife had finally snapped. “You do not see what you have! What you are in danger of losing!” the trickster’s voice rose. Thor could say nothing to this, for shock had set in. Minutes passed, Loki’s heavy breaths the only sound to pierce the silence. 

“What I am in danger of losing? You would leave this? All of this?” Thor asked, frightened for the first time in years. The look in his future wife’s eyes was maddening. They showed that Loki was on the edge of something, something Thor wouldn’t like. 

“Me. You think I can stand by while you bed maidens. Women I see and hear gossip about you! It hurts.” 

“Loki, I-“

“I am not finished!” he snapped, his eyes flaring in raw anger. “You just do not listen! I do so much for you and all I asked was that you stop bedding women. It is clear now that you cannot even do that. It would be all too easy to find someone who would not do such things… Like your own brother.” he finished, watching Thor’s face contort. It was uncomfortable for the Jotun born, but he knew this was a lesson Thor would have to learn. 

“Baldur?” he choked. “You would let him have you?”

“It would be no different than what you do.” Loki answered. 

“Show me,” the future king of Asgard said finally, his expression settling on curiosity. The younger of the two blinked, confusion evident on his features. “Show me what I am missing.”

“Ah. If you insist,” Loki replied, his skin glittering before his male form gave way to that of a female. “You forget so easily that I am here. I am anything and everything you could need. Could _want_.” she sighed as her black hair cascaded over her shoulders, ending at the middle of her back. Thor looked the new Loki up and down, blue eyes widening. 

“It has been awhile.” was all he could say. All he would dare to say. Loki smiled, taking Thor’s hands in hers.

“Indeed. I believe last time I showed you, we were but children.”

“The day you came from Jotunheim,” the older of the duo mused. “Gods, I remember being so excited when the servant came to my mother and me.” 

“Excited?” Loki asked, her voice soft. Thor smiled and looked at the now female.

“But of course. When I laid eyes on you, I was confused at first. I expected skin as blue as the sky above, but what I saw was much different. Be that as it may, my eyes have never lain upon something... No, someone so exotic. Not in this realm or the eight others.” he explained, the smile dropping off of his face. Loki caught it, watching the male’s eyebrows knit together. 

“What is wrong?”

“I have forgotten all of such things. That you are such an enthralling creature,” Thor muttered, his eyes locking with Loki’s. “Why have you chosen to stand by me? After all I have done.” to this, the female of the two rolled her eyes as she shifted back into her male form.

“I have a duty, but more so because I love you. However, it has to stop. We are to be married in a week. I want you to make me a promise. One the future king of Asgard _can_ keep.” the dark haired male said, holding his future husband’s stare.

“I… Alright. Let us hear it.” Thor nodded, careful to not upset the Jotun born. Loki rested his forehead against Thor’s and took a deep breath.

“No concubines, no brothels, and no one other than your queen,” Loki listed, feeling the other male tense. “If this promise you cannot keep, I shall have the right to claim annulment.” the voice smooth but stern.

“You know you-”

“Ah, ah, ah- this is my offer. For this you do not deserve. Thor, what you have done to me earns me the right to be off with Baldur at this very moment, yet I stay. Promise me this, Thor Odinson.” the Jotun born said, a small frown on his lips. Moments passed in silence before the thunderer answered him. A deep breath was drawn from the older of the two, nerves seeming to leave with the exhale. Blue eyes met green in confidence.

“I swear to you, Loki of Jotunheim, that I will be as faithful as a servant is to their master. No concubines, no brothels, and no one other than my queen.” Thor vowed, placing a hand over the location of his heart. Loki looked into the deep blue of his future husband’s eyes and saw no lies, only dedication. Something that had been missing in the prince’s promises all along.

“We finally see eye to eye.”

“Indeed,” the blond male smiled softly, taking Loki’s hands in his. “By the way, you did not show me what I wanted to see.” to this, the Jotun born showed great confusion.

“What does one mean? I showed you my female form. Was I wrong in what you wanted, prince?”

“I wanted to see your Jotun form, not female form. My apologies if you were misled.” Thor mused, watching his future wife blink in surprise.

“O-oh. I did not know you were interested in such creatures.”

“That is not true,” the other male replied instantly. “I have seen your female form and it _is_ beautiful, but I am yet to see your natural state.” the crowned prince of Asgard muttered, walking his fingers across the clothed thighs of his soon to be wife. Loki gulped and watched Thor’s hand trace designs against his leg.

“Do you really desire me in such a form? It would surely disappoint.” the dark haired male said softly, eyes shifting up to lock once again with blue.

“Yes, I do. Leave the judgement to my eyes, Loki. Do not assume.” Thor said easily, watching his betrothed shift on his lap.

“Alright. I suppose there is no harm in knowing what your future wife actually looks like under this glamour.” the younger of the two agreed, pale skin melting into a brilliant blue, green eyes diffusing to blood red. Black hair once again fell down to the Jotun’s hips. Finally, the signature markings of the Frost Giants etched their way onto the prince’s skin and horns –while not as big as most frost giants- grew up in a curve on the frontal section of his head. Although Loki expected one reaction from the future king of Asgard, he was graced with another. A kind smile spread across the Aesir’s face, seeming to light up everything around the Jotun. Large hands placed themselves against both sides of the blue face.

“You…”

“Are hideous?” 

“Beautiful, Loki.” the older of the two scolded lightly, moving his hands down to rub the blue skin of the Jotun’s hips. The dark haired Jotun looked into sincere baby blues and heaved a deep sigh filled with relief.

“… Thank you,” Loki smiled ever so slightly. “Thank you.” tears began to well in his eyes as he hugged the future king of Asgard.

“There is no need to thank me, Loki. I am truly sorry for what I have done.” Thor sighed, lifting the man off his lap and placing him down beside him on the bed.

“Well, hopefully you shall keep this promise.” the younger of them said, blue skin fading back into a paler complexion. The Jotun born watched his future husband place the layers of blankets over him, tucking him in after he lay down.

“I intend to, my sweet Jotun. I will see you in the morning?” Thor asked, standing up straight, his posture one of royalty. Loki watched the Aesir and nodded carefully.

“Yes, you shall. Good night, Thor.” green eyes met blue. The golden prince of Asgard smiled brightly and bowed quickly. 

“Good night, Loki. May your dreams be merry.”

“And yours as well,” the trickster mused, watching Thor walk swiftly out of the room. When the door clicked closed, the Jotun exhaled a long and heavy sigh. “By Gods, do not see me to be a fool once again.” Loki whispered although he was the only one present in the room lit by only candles. He snapped his fingers and the flames extinguished all at once. When he finally closed his eyes, sleep took him quickly without another thought.

* * *

Winter has finally set its cruel sights on Asgard, snow from the first blizzard quickly coating all of Asgard in a thick snow. 

Loki loves it.

He walks out onto his balcony, high above the castle grounds. He can see out onto the beautiful snow covered city, smoke rising from every chimney. It is true the Jotun finds comfort in the cold, his homesickness reduced to almost nothing when Winter rolls around to an otherwise terribly heated land for the frost giant. The new queen of Asgard steps into the snow, letting his natural form slip through his usual glamour. It slides up his body, ending at his hair line. His hair once again falls to clothed hips, the weight of his horns evident on his head. Despite it all, he smiles while taking a deep inhale of cold air. 

“Finally,” Loki whispers, the breath visible against the air. His eyes wander down to his stomach where a small bump is beginning to form, causing the smile to stretch even wider across his face. The black haired Jotun hums in satisfaction while rubbing the lowest area of his stomach. “What an amazing day.” 

But something catches the Jotun’s eyes. Beyond the city, his eyes trail across the Bifrost until they reached Heimdall’s usual residence. Something pulls at the young queen’s heart, worry perhaps, and he feels the need to run. Be that as it may, his legs will not move, _cannot_ move. Ruby red eyes gifted with astounding vision -a trait of his hybrid-Jotun genes- watch figures make their way out of the golden dome, confusing the Jotun greatly. 

‘Should I be able to see this well? Surely I cannot,’ he thinks, but there it is, a clear as day. The figures that make their way out come by the dozen and then more. Loki growls, for he knows all too well who they are. “Jotunheim,” he hisses and turns on his heel, running back into the room. The warmth of the bedroom Loki and Thor share heats him up, his form changing instantly to the Asgardian male he usually poses as. The king of Asgard is asleep in bed, but he intends to wake him up. “Thor!” Loki yells, his voice foreign to his own ears. It is high-pitched and panicked. Scared, something Loki had not been in centuries. His husband groans and waves a large hand, as if to quiet his wife. Green eyes narrow and the queen of Asgard pulls on the hand. “Thor, I am serious! Something is wrong here!” he knows this, for Jotun’s would never come to Asgard in good spirits. They have a treaty, but Loki knows this is different. 

The blond male finally sits up, rubbing his tired blue eyes. When the king’s eyes finally meet his wife’s, Loki can tell he has transferred the panic. “What is wrong, wife?” he asks, sliding out of bed. Loki bites his lip and quickly fetches his king’s trousers. Before the thunderer can tie the strings on his pants, his wife takes his hand and pulls him out of the room, onto the balcony. The cold hits Thor and causes him to shrink back until Loki points frantically to the Bifrost.

“Jotuns.” is all he says, all he gets to say before his husband is flying back into the room. Loki does well to follow him, surprised at how quickly changed the usually easy-going king can be when pressured. Green eyes dart around, watching Mjölnir flying into his fully dressed husband’s hand. 

“Loki, get dressed. Quick.” he growls and heads out of the room, the door slamming, earning a flinch from the only person left in the room. It takes only seconds before he hears Thor shouting down the hallway and Loki’s brain kicks in. He strides across the room, night clothes disappearing into ribbons, while fabrics of blacks and greens wind their way across the Jotun born’s body. Bare feet become dressed in heavy boots that slam against the marble floor. Without lifting a finger, magic swings the doors open and Loki comes out into a hallway bustling with warriors and medics. People are scared and it only makes Loki angrier. His walk turns into a run as he struggles to find his husband in the chaos. When he thinks he has lost him, Sif, one of Thor’s many good friends, grabs the queen’s arm and leads him through bustling crowd of the city that has been ordered to vacate into the castle, away from the approaching enemy. 

He marvels at how quick Thor can do this all, that this should take at least an hour, but it seems nonetheless logical to the dark haired male. 

“Thor! I found Loki!” Sif yells as she approaches the growing legion of Asgard’s strongest warriors. Thor is in the middle of it all, turning when he hears Sif. Blue eyes shift to Loki and narrow as the dark haired pair stop in front of him.

“Did you know of this, wife?” he questions, surely the angriest Loki has seen him. Loki shakes his head frantically, taking his husband’s hands and holding them tight. 

“I swear on my life and the life of our child I did not. Please trust me, Thor. I know as little as you!” Loki explains, not wanting to be labelled as a liar and trickster this time. Not for something so pivotal. Thor’s eyes ease up, quickly hugging his wife and sighing.

“Thank Gods you have not. I would not know what to do,” Thor says, love so evident in the way he looks at Loki. Said male nods and hugs him back before they part. “Now, a plan,” the king says, the tone now extremely serious. Loki nods again along with the still growing army. “I want a tight group. If we get separated, ten around you are your team. Remember them.”

“But why?” A soldier asks, young but ready for a fight as Loki can clearly tell. 

“There are Jotun’s, like my wife, who can shape shift. Be careful. Do not let them fool you. Kill them first, they will prove difficult to tell apart if they are given a chance to change forms.” Thor responds, and then continues to explain. The young man looks at Loki and frowns, which causes the queen great anxiety. For he knows people around him think himself a traitor. That he is part of a plan, which is the biggest lie of all.  

Before Thor can finish, a girl breaks through the crowd, which Loki knows immediately. Cut and bruised before them is Sigyn, his closest friend. Loki lets out a gasp and strides over to her, instantly beginning to heal her deep cuts. “Sigyn, are you-” he begins, but is cut off by her hurried statement.

“Heimdall is dead!” she yells desperately into her friend’s face, causing silence to ripple through the crowd.

“This is not true,” Loki mutters, the shock producing eyes as wide as dinner plates. He looks slowly to his husband, whose face is unreadable at this point. Loki catches a small flicker of malicious intent and shakes his head, breaking from Sigyn’s grasp on his arms. “Thor, you need to calm-”

“Watch this girl die and tell me to calm down, wife!” he roars, walking over to the wordsmith of Asgard. 

“Thor! We have other matters! Protect, not revenge!” Loki says, but knows his husband will not hear it. The king of Asgard opens his mouth, but before he can speak, a deafening smash against the golden gates of the castle ripples throughout the large courtyard, silencing thousands within seconds. 

“Gods.” Sigyn sobs, her face meeting her bloody palms. 

“Sigyn, go inside,” Loki orders, looking at the open doors to the castle, where hundreds of guards are placed. In the middle is Frigga, her arms outstretched in panic. When the girl does not move, Loki snaps her face up to look at narrowed green eyes. “Sigyn! Go!” he yells, earning only a sob and nod in return. Sigyn turns and springs across the yard and through soldiers to finally land against the former queen of Asgard in hysterical sobbing. The doors slowly close as another bang sounds off against the gates. 

The minutes pass and Loki finally begins to delve into thought, an idea forming. When he comes up with one, he looks at Thor. The Jotun born sees the distance between them and judges it to be enough. With a deep breath, the queen of Asgard takes off into a quick sprint towards the closest guard tower. Thor blinks and watches his wife break away from the crowd, yelling after him and beginning to run after him.

“Wife, you come back here!” he orders as the crowd parts for him. When the wordsmith says nothing, he picks up his pace. However, despite how fast the king runs, he knows Loki is faster. He has and always will be more agile than the thunder god. “Loki, I am ordering you to come back here!” this causes the trickster to stall. Thor stops as well, a mere 30 feet between them. The younger of the two turns towards his husband and shakes his head, no words. This scares Thor, yet angers him that his wife would not listen to him. The thunderer begins to run again, but groans when he hits a shield of transparent blue; a force field. “Loki!”

“Back off, husband.” the Jotun born demands and breaks out into a run again, disappearing into the guard tower. When he gets inside, he slams and locks the door, then climbs the stairs with haste. He knows he does not have much time before his lack of presence destroys the force field he had put up. 

While he Loki knows it is stupid, he needs to know why his father would do such a thing. Why would they challenge Asgard? Was there a purpose? What happened to the peace treaty? Was it all a lie? Loki believed he knew the answer to the last of his many questions, but could not rest on that alone. “Why would you do this?” he asks out loud as he reaches the top of the stairs. He rushes to the middle of the room and looks up at the door on the ceiling to the roof. When he tries, he cannot swing it open surely because of the snow piled on top. Defeated, he rushes to the window instead, swinging open the shutters that usually buffer the cold for the guards. He swings his body of the window and grabs onto the stone work of the window for dear life. Noticing the force field begin to wear off, he hoists himself up onto the roof, sweat beading on his forehead from such exertion while dressed in the many layers of cloth and armour. When he finally stands up straight, he gasps at the site beyond the walls of Asgard’s castle. Throughout the city and down the Bifrost, hundreds of thousands of Jotuns are chanting an ancient battle cry. Loki knows it from childhood, but cares not to think about such things. His heart begins to hammer from his head down to his legs, knowing Asgard cannot beat such a force. He looks directly down to see his family at the front of this army. Fifty feet away from the beginnings of the army, one of the members of Loki’s family slams against the gate again. He knows the face when his youngest brother, Býleistr, notices him. He points up and whispers to the frost giant beside him. Slowly the face looks up, confirming it to be Loki’s younger brother Helblindi. The smile Loki is given makes him sick to his stomach. It is filled with a carnal hatred that only his younger brother could possess. He knows Helblindi wants one thing:

Destroy Asgard.

“Brother!” the deep voice of Helblindi laughs, cruel and calculating. “I hardly noticed you, pet of Asgard!” he yells up, as if this event is at all joyous. Loki hisses and wants nothing more than to knock his brother back with a neck snapping blow to the head. He takes a deep breath and leans over the roof.

“Why are you here, Helblindi!? There is a treaty!” he screams back, just wishing for this all to end. 

“Not anymore, my dear brother! Queen of the glorious Asgard!” the Jotun retorts. 

“What do you…” Loki trails off, and then frantically looks across his family, the mates of his brothers, their children. Yet someone was missing: his father. “What happened to our father!?” he demands. 

“Oh, I suppose we did not tell you!” Helblindi laughs hysterically, sanity no longer evident to Loki. “Father died! What a shame, eh!? No matter! This _was_ his plan!” he yells up. At this, Loki feels his heart drop in his chest. His mind brings him back to day when he first arrived in his future home. His father’s face had shown no expression, but the more Loki thinks about it, the more it makes sense. He seemed too eager to kneel, too eager to see Odin, _too_ eager to give Loki up. To give up a runt meant the succession fell to a younger sibling, a crueler sibling; to Helblindi.

“… Gods.” Loki gasps, and then felt something entirely different. As the force field finally breaks, the Jotun born feels a rapid increase of heart beat, not fright, but something more powerful. He hears the taunting curses of his two brothers and suddenly, the hatred hits.  
  
It starts in the core of his heart, spreading painfully out and boiling his blood. His head begins to ache, frustration breaking against the walls of his cool exterior. He felt his magic flare in his veins and out of his skin, creating an eerie essence of blue around him. Without realising it, he had approached the edge of the tower, the tips of his boots off of the edge. His blind rage stalls at the presence of another on the roof. Turning, he sees Thor has landed. The thunder god slows the swing of his hammer, glaring at Loki.

“Loki, come here. Do not go near them.” the king orders, his tone frantic through the anger.

“Do you see that!?” Loki screams. “We are _desperately_ outnumbered, Thor! Asgard stands no chance!” blue eyes look out beyond the castle, realisation of the defeat they will surely suffer. 

“… Just come here, wife.” he pleads now, dropping Mjölnir into the snow on the roof top. This seems almost too much for Loki, but it feels so real. As Thor approaches him, he feels his magic spark and before he knows it, his own husband is hit with a spell. It paralyzes the king of Asgard and triggers a flinch from the Jotun born. 

“…” Loki knows he should feel bad, but nothing gets past his anger now. He does believe he should calm down, that this is not a time to lose control. He takes a deep breath to try to stabilize himself, but what he hears next is truly the last straw.

“Would you look at that, my dear Jotuns! Loki isolated the threat for us!” Helblindi yells, earning cheers in return. “Perhaps my older brother _can_ betray Asgard after all!” he laughs. At this, Loki jumps off of the tower, shape shifting into a raven. He dives for the ground and before hitting it beak on, black energy shoots up ten feet into the air and feathers explode every which way from it. Smoke billows around the site of impact, causing Loki’s family to back up, Helblindi especially. Silence falls upon the front line, which catches the site up close. The smoke hangs in the cold air for minutes before new king of Jotunheim laughs softly. “And he even killed himself.” he smiles momentarily until pain blooms in his heart, triggering him to scream, a sound heard on both sides of the gates. Red eyes look down to see a spear pierced directly through the location of his heart. The spear pulls out then, a scream coming from the injured Jotun yet again as he falls to his hands and knees. Blood begins to pour from his mouth in coughs as he looks up to Loki, who is now standing in front of him.

“Kneel.” he commands coolly, the sharp tip of his spear resting on the back of his dying brother’s neck. Helblindi lets loose a sob of pain and stays in place.

“Loki… I am-”

“I said… _KNEEL_!” Loki screams, his voice causing every standing Jotun to back away from the scene. Býleistr’s eyes shift nervously as he backs up with the rest of his family. “ _All of you_!” he continues to scream, his magic flaring outwards. Býleistr is the first to kneel, his mate and children following. A chain reaction occurs and soon murmurs ripple down through the city of Asgard and out to the Bifrost. Some run back to where they came from, others kneel in fear of such dark magic. They all feel it and do well to not oppose it. “You come here, to Asgard, with hatred in your heart, the lure to destroy. You follow a man who cannot lead,” Loki explains, his tone cool, but his heart is racing. 

“Please just let us leave.” Helblindi’s mate sobs, eyes shifting between his mate and this dangerous creature. Someone like them, yet completely different. Loki looks down at his brother’s mate and smiles then.

“You want me to let you leave? With my brother no doubt.” the Jotun born cooes. 

“We will never come back.” he promises, his hands locked together with a vice. The wordsmith watches this and the smile sweetens.

“Yet you were willing to come? To ensure such actions towards my husband and I… What I am threatening to do to you?” when his begging Jotun said nothing, Loki’s smile turns into a scowl. “You will be sent back with this lesson learned, you mewling quim.” he says, before turning on an angle and thrusting his spear down on top of Helblindi’s neck. His brother’s mate screams, launching forwards, only to be shoved back into Býleistr’s quick arms by Loki’s magic. The queen of Asgard looks up at the sky to see snow begin to fall, blood seeping into the snow under him as the army of Jotun’s retreat. 

The smile on Loki’s face turns into an expression of pure horror as the snow turns into rain drops of thick blood, coating his face, clothing, _everything_. He looks down and instead of Helblindi’s body, there lies his husband. Around him lie dying Asgardians and bodies of one’s passed. Buildings are burning and screams are heard in the air. “What?” the trickster asks out loud, his eyes taking in everything around him. He feels a sob at the back of his throat and collapses like his brother had not minutes before. 

Before Loki can let out the choking sob, he bolted up blindly in bed. Tears ran down his face as he looked frantically around the room for any remnants of what appeared to be a long and horrific dream.

“Gods.”

“Gods indeed.” the voice of Loki’s friend Sigyn sounded off, triggering the Jotun born to look in the direction of the balcony. Low and behold, indeed it was Sigyn who was leaning in the doorway of her friend’s balcony. 

“I thought I told you to knock.” the wordsmith frowned, watching the blonde nymph close the doors and walk into his room. 

“You would not being doing much anyway,” she giggled and launched herself onto his bed. “That must have been on Hel of a nightmare, my dear.” to this, Loki sighed and flopped back down onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Ugh,” he sighed, folding his hands over his chest. “You have no idea, dearest Sigyn.”


	5. Chapter 5

"Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them."  
-Bob Dylan

* * *

"What a horrible dream," Sigyn gasped, watching her childhood friend dress himself with shaky hands. "You know what they say about dreams, my dear." she commented, smoothing down her dress as she stood up straight. Nervous green eyes shifted towards the lady dressed in royal blues and golds, taking a deep breath.

"I have never had such a dream in my life," the Jotun born nodded, slipping his feet into the cleaned black boots he was accustomed to wearing. "I do know what they say about dreams in Asgard. Therefore, such events will stay a secret between us, until this wedding nonsense is over with." Loki explained, taking the black coat from his soon to be lady in waiting. He watched her fidget with the wide sleeves on her dress, believing she would worry straight through the cloth if she kept it up.

"Loki, I worry about this dream. You should tell Thor about such things… As much as I do not like him, it would be the wise choice," the nymph frowned as the future queen of Asgard dawned the remainder of his clothing. "As well, I was told by Frigga that you should stop wearing those outfits." she advised. Loki looked at his friend and laughed suddenly, an odd sound that was rare to the young blonde's ears.

"What, you have suddenly grown up in the past few days, Sigyn? Has your new promised position caused such an attitude? Sigyn, I present myself as a male Aesir, so I will wear such clothing until I ascend to the throne as queen! Please stop with this serious façade. It suits you ill." to this, the female let out a loud exhale of breath.

"Norns, I am glad to hear you say that!" she laughed, her posture returning to the easy going girl Loki had always known. "I cannot stand acting like that. Fulla and Lin were quite adamant on my propriety!" Loki chuckled and took the jacket off, folding it over his left arm.

"Now that we have that settled, a bit of advice, my lady," the Jotun born smirked. "Jacket or no jacket?" he asked, turning around for his friend to admire what he wore under it.

"Hmm, no jacket. You will terribly over-heated in the thing, Loki," she judged, rubbing her chin methodically. "If you see Thor, maybe he will see more of that beautiful body you have, trickster." to this, Loki rolled his eyes and placed the folded up jacket onto his bed.

"I thank you for such enthusiasm, but he would not stare. There are far more appealing things in Asgard than I." the male of the two laughed, walking towards the door of his room, the last few days he would spend in it before joining his future husband in the wing of the castle in which the king and queen resided.

"Curious that I see no such things!" Sigyn chirped, following him out into the hallway, where the whole palace was in full swing for the wedding. Loki scoffed and took his friend's hand in his, weaving through the busy servants and residents of the palace.

"Oh stop."

"Never," she vowed through a laugh. "So, what is on the agenda today, my dear Jotun?" to this, Loki shrugged his shoulders and looked ahead, heading down the first set of stairs towards his destination.

"Breakfast first, and then the final fitting with the seamstress," the dark haired male listed, as conversations of the upcoming wedding drifting in the air. "After that, I am to meet privately with Frigga, I know not why. It should prove most interesting. Lastly, I believe I will be going on a ride with Thor." Loki explained, causing Sigyn to rub her chin again in thought.

"… Thor? To where?"

"I have not the faintest clue, my dear Sigyn," Loki replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "But he promised it would be stunning for me to see."

"… Ugh, just remember. Do not let temptation into that mischievous soul of yours." the female of the pair smirked, elbowing the future queen of Asgard in the side. Well-kept eyebrows arched in surprise, a scoff emitting from the male of them.

"Oh please. I know my role. Magic has its uses. One of them being to keep a certain prince off of me." the Jotun born replied smugly as they made their way to the hall where breakfast could be made for them.

"I suppose that is accurate," the nymph laughed upon entering the morning hall, where the commotion from inside seemed of equal value to that of outside the hall. The staff of the palace bid the two a good morning while scurrying past. "Norns! What an impressive crowd!"

"Yes, very. It is truly shocking to see this many people planning a wedding." Loki agreed, observing the Aesirs bustling around them. Sigyn beamed, walking towards the kitchen.

"I have never been alive for one! I have heard that when Odin and Frigga were married, it was ridiculously busy. Many did not sleep at night! It is said the last week is always the busiest!"

"It only makes me more nervous." the Jotun born retorted, earning a look of confusion from his friend.

"Nerves? Well, rightly so! Six days from now, you will be walking down the stretch of hallway towards your future!" the blonde haired girl chirped, pushing the doors to the kitchen open, avoiding two cooks talking to each other about the wedding feast. Loki stumbled to the side, dodging the cooks with an apology.

"That is not helping, Sigyn. Ugh, what if I trip!" the male of the duo expressed, worry evident in his tone. "Or worse, what if I mess up in the vows."

"Have you been practicing?"

"Well, the walk, no. That is in the days to come. My vows… I recite them every night." the future queen of Asgard mumbled. Sigyn clapped him on the back, the force of it causing Loki to wince.

"Then have no fear! You will perform them perfectly!" she proclaimed, walking over to one of the many chefs in the crowded kitchen. "Good morning, Knútr!" the nymph announced loudly, gaining the short man's attention. He turned on his heel, his stern expression turning into one of great joy when his eyes landed on the future queen and head lady in waiting.

"Good morning, Lady Sigyn! Good morning, Loki! How are both of you faring on this fine day?" the stout man asked, bowing slightly.

"We are wonderful, Knútr! However, quite famished. If it was not much of a hassle for you, could we fetch some breakfast? I know it is a tad late in the morn to do so, but our future queen had a rough night." Sigyn explained, her tone proper. Loki thought it odd, smiling slightly when Knútr looked towards him.

"Gods, is that so? Nerves?" he asked, a big smile stretching across his features. To this, the Jotun born nodded quickly.

"Very much so. It is approaching quickly, the wedding." Loki lied easily. The head cook smiled and looked at the chaos in his kitchen, before turning to the two.

"Valerian should fix the insomnia, my… Highness," Knútr said thoughtfully. The future queen could see the apprehension to give him the title of a woman, but to him it did not matter. In reality, he was both of what Asgard assigned the name of gender. "However, I would be honoured to make you two something to eat! It is crowded out there, but if you are willing to wait a few minutes in such an atmosphere, I would send someone to give you the meals." the stout man smiled.

"That is fine, dear Knútr. Thank you kindly." Sigyn smiled, linking her arm around Loki's.

"Thank you, really." Loki smiled as Sigyn began pulling him away. The head cook simply nodded and waved, the Jotun born losing sight of him in the crowd. They emerged from the kitchen and made their way to the long table in the middle of the feasting hall. It was bare of food, for breakfast for most of the royalty had already occurred hours before. Only one other sat at the table, who Loki knew very well.

"Oh no." Sigyn giggled, a shine of mischief in her blue eyes.

"I am beginning to think you enjoy my pain," Loki muttered before sitting beside Balder swiftly, startling the white haired male. "Good morning, Balder." to this, a smile as bright as the Asgardian sun shone from the older male at the table. Sigyn took a seat next to her friend as Balder began to speak.

"Ah, good morning, Loki. Are you enjoying your day? Tis a beautiful Spring day to be alive." the white haired Aesir proclaimed, nothing less than affection present in his bright eyes.

"Aye, it is a beautiful day. I am enjoying it so far as I am sure you are as well," Loki smiled slightly, kicking his giggling friend in warning. Balder laughed and looked at his half eaten breakfast.

"At least I am not the only one waking up late today. Did you find yourself unable to sleep?" to this, Loki's features hit a snag before recovering to utter indifference.

"I… Yes, my nerves are quite heightened now." the future queen of Asgard lied, not as easily as before.

"Mmm," Balder nodded, looking down at the food and sighing. "I had a horrible dream last night." Loki felt his heart drop in his stomach at what the Aesir had said.

"Dear Balder, what of?"

"Oh my. Well, I do not remember much. It is quite foggy, thankfully," the white haired god chuckled. "I remember black feathers, that of a raven… Blood, lots of blood. Also snow, now that I think of it. I could smell burning and hear screams. I awoke when I was stabbed in my dream." Balder said thoughtfully. Loki's heart began to beat in his ears, feeling as if he might pass out.

"… That is quite the dream!" Sigyn replied, rubbing her friend's back.

"Yes, it was. Are you alright, Loki?" Balder asked. Loki took a deep breath and smiled lightly before looking at the Aesir next to him.

"Of course. My sleepless night is costing me dearly it would seem."

"Oh dear. Well, I hope you get better, Loki. It would be terrible to see such a beautiful being so unwell. Especially on a day like this," the brother of Thor smiled. "I must take my leave. I have lost my appetite and must help plan for my brother's wedding. Pleasant days to you both." he chirped before swiftly leaving with his plate of half eaten food.

"… He seems quite shaken. You cannot get him to leave on other days." Sigyn said to her equally shaken friend. Loki sighed and leaned on the girl's shoulder.

"It is most likely Thor's doing," he assured his friend. "That dream though… I cannot believe it."

"I told you about dreams, my dearest Jotun. Asgard takes them quite seriously. However, I would let it go for now. There are great deals of things worth your worry over this. Look, our food is here. We will take it somewhere quiet, okay?" Sigyn smiled as a cook approached them with their food.

"Your advice is impeccable," Loki commented with a small smile while the cook placed their food before them. "Thank you." he said towards the female.

"You are most welcome. Have an excellent day." she smiled and hurried off towards the kitchen to continue the planning of the wedding feast. When she had left, Sigyn left the table swiftly with her food. Loki blinked and followed her quickly, knowing she would take them to her garden, which seemed to remain untouched by any season.

When they reached their familiar spot in Sigyn's garden, they sat on the grass opposite of each other, no words spoken between them. As they ate, Sigyn smiled and watched her uneasy friend.

"So," she muttered, swallowing her food quickly before proceeding. "Has Thor ruined anything as of recent? Or have things been fixed between you two? I heard about the screaming match yesterday." the nymph sympathized, watching green eyes gaze up to stare at her. The young man swallowed before answering her question.

"He came to me last night, actually," Loki replied. "He promised me yet again to be faithful. We struck a deal… There was something different in his eyes this time. As if this vow is the one… The one he will keep. I suppose we will see what happens though." to this, Sigyn nodded and looked at butterfly passing by her field of view before fluttering into the deeper parts of the garden.

"It is a start. Are you excited for your ride with him?"

"It will be enlightening," the Jotun born answered. "I am nervous though. Ever since we hit adulthood, our interests separated. It is almost as if I do not know him anymore. I do not know what to say to him when we go on our ride."

"You will think of something," Sigyn giggled after swallowing another bite of food. "You two got along great when we were all little." the nymph reminded her friend.

"I know, it does not help that this will be the first time in years we are going to spend time alone together. I hope our divided interests do not bore him. I no longer play in the dirt or hunt like I did when we were young. Such ideals changed when we hit adolescence." the male of the duo sighed heavily before taking another bite of his breakfast. Sigyn pouted and ate the last of her food, swallowing before speaking to the non-Aesir.

"I remember the day Frigga edged you away from mud wrestling and into tea times with her ladies in waiting."

"You were there, as you are to be my lady in waiting," Loki reminded her, fondness present in his voice. "It is not all bad. I enjoyed reading quietly while the mundane chatter of the women filled the air. It was nice to just be able to relax."

"The day you joined in with our chatter was surely the completion of Frigga's process in integrating you."

"Ah yes. Into my destined womanhood. Despite the factor of me representing as male." Loki mused, a soft smile spreading over his lips. The blonde haired girl laughed and nudged her friend playfully.

"It is sad you gave up sparring. Me thinks Thor misses your competition on the sparring fields." Sigyn smiled while watching her future queen finish his breakfast.

"… I have not thought about picking up a spear or sword in centuries." the younger of the two said thoughtfully. His eyes shifted downwards to his opened hands, looking at the fading scar etched into the top of his hand. He recalled that Thor had given it to him when they were young. It had been an accident, one Thor apologized for adamantly.

"Maybe you should." Sigyn advised. Green eyes snapped up to lock with blue, shock written into the former of the two.

"Oh I could not possibly. Those days are long past." Loki waved a pale hand at his friend. The female raised an eyebrow and grabbed the offending hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"Excuse me, my queen! I recall you being quite good with a spear." the nymph retorted, smirking ever so slightly. Loki rolled his eyes in reply to her statement and stood up swiftly, his hand disconnecting with hers.

"Oh please," he chuckled as Sigyn jumped up, much shorter than her friend when standing straight. "Now, enough with the nostalgia. Care to escort me to my final fitting, my lady?" to this, Sigyn locked arms with the Jotun born and bowed politely.

"I would be delighted, my queen!" she giggled and pulled him along back into the crowds of the palace.

* * *

When Loki left Friggas main room, where the usual women had not been present, he was in a good mood. Despite his worries, his future mother-in-law only spoke of preparations and little clues on what to do on the wedding day. Loki for many years had seen her as a role model, even a mother. Today was no exception for him. As he walked into the hallway, people still rushing past him with quick greetings, he was in high spirits. At a loss of where to find his future husband, he decided to check in the most common places that would host the Thunderer's presence. First he checked the bedroom, and then the many halls Thor seemed to frequent. When he could not find the Aesir, he finally resorted to the sparring grounds with reluctance. Taking a deep breath, he walked out of the castle into the bright Spring afternoon. Looking down the large grounds, he sighed and shivered.

As he made his way towards the gates, the guards taking notice of the Jotun born's approach. When he stopped before them, the two men sported wide smiles.

"Good afternoon, your highness."

"Loki is just fine." he replied, a small smile across his lips. The blond haired guard laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Loki it is," the man smiled. "What brings you to the gates today? No Sigyn, I see." the oldest of the three remarked.

"Not on this afternoon I am afraid. I am off to the sparring grounds actually." Loki affirmed, watching the other guard chuckle at his answer.

"To see Thor I am guessing?"

"I was hoping I would find him there, yes." the youngest of the trio replied. The red-headed of guards nodded and signalled up to the drawers of the gate simply.

"He is indeed there. With Sif and the warriors three I believe." the blond guard assured the non-Aesir.

"Thank you for your information. Pleasant days and nights to you both." Loki smiled and waved as he swiftly walked through the now open gates of the castle. The two guards waved back, Loki looking back to see the gates begin to shut again. He said quick greetings to the guards on the outside of the castle and made his way down the path towards the city of Asgard.

Despite how different the city was to the castle, Loki still enjoyed walking through the masses of people. Many shouted greetings to him, causing him to wave back in response. He didn't like the attention much, but he put up with it. If he was to be Queen, he would have to get used to the masses knowing who he was and wanting to speak to him.

He passed the market, admiring the many baubles and foods for sale before exiting the main part of the city and making his way towards the sparring grounds which resided just before the gates to the city.

"Is your mind somewhere else today!?" Sif shouted as she knocked the Thunderer back, watching him stumbled to regain balance. The blond haired male frowned and ran towards her, their swords clashing again with a grinding sound, loud to their ears.

"Perhaps, but it will give you no win over me, Sif!" Thor shouted back as he pushed all of his force against the female's weapon. A smirk made its way onto the woman's features, her black hair blowing in the spring winds across the sparring field.

"What is on your mind then? Surely nothing can be wrong with the Golden Prince of Asgard?" the female warrior teased as her sparring partner's strength out-weighed hers, causing their swords to slide from the lock against each other. Her eyes widened as Thor swung for her legs, stumbling back in time to avoid the cutting motion. Blue eyes met brown, exhaustion evident in both.

"The problem is Loki, my friend." Thor sighed, dropping his sword to his side, the top of the blade sticking into the ground. Sif watched the Thunderer and sighed while sheathing her sword back by her left hip where it always hung.

"Loki? What is wrong with Loki? I thought you reconciled." the dark haired warrior frowned, walking over to her childhood friend. While Sif had always been jealous of the position Loki would take instead of her, she always tried to help the prince of Asgard. She understood that Thor would never see her as anything more than a friend, which was better than nothing. Smiling slightly now, she placed a hand on the thunder god's shoulder.

"There is nothing wrong with that. Indeed we reconciled, but I have other worries now." Thor expressed, blue eyes brewing with nerves. Sif saw this and squeezed his left shoulder in assurance.

"What worries are these?" she asked, genuinely curious of her friend's confliction.

"I am supposed to spend time with him soon. We are going riding." Thor explained, to which Sif seemed confused.

"That is not what I thought you would say. Well, what is the problem with that? You two seem to get along most days." Sif laughed. The blond haired male sighed and walked away from Sif, making his way down the sparring field.

"You miss the point, dearest friend!" Thor said loudly. "I have not spent more than an hour by myself with him! We are so different now, the days of mud wrestling and adventure long gone!" to this, Fandral laughed from the sidelines and interrupted Sif's reply.

"Thor! Loki has been taken in by Frigga now! You socialize with maidens all the time, Loki is no different… Excluding the fact that he is a… He." Fandral mused, earning a punch in the shoulder from Sif as she walked past him, approaching Thor who had stopped walking.

"What Fandral is trying to say is that Loki has not changed so much. It matters not that he no longer rough-houses with us. You will find things to talk about!" Sif assured her friend. Volstagg nodded and approached the Thunderer as well who was now looking at his four friends. Hogun stopped next to the other three and nodded.

"She is right! Where are you taking him? Surely he will be blown away by the sights he has not yet gazed upon."

"I am taking him to the very edge of our realm. It is amazing to see the stars and planets moving below you," Thor sighed. "I suppose you are all right, but I wish not to have an awkward silence." to this, the usual silent Hogun frowned and shook his head.

"If there is silence, it will not be awkward. Loki does like you, Thor," the warrior spoke as the four stared at him. "Besides, it will be a time to reconnect. Do not treat him like a maiden, however. I do not think he likes it much."

"Yes, I learned that the hard way." Fandral muttered, rubbing his cheek from recalling a moment of great pain caused by the Jotun born. Thor looked at the bearded male and glared.

"I am going to ignore the fact that you made eyes at my future wife," he said pointedly. "Hogun, you are right as well… You are all right. Loki cannot be so different that we will find nothing to talk about." a smile broke over the Thunderer's face then, causing the other warriors -with exception to Hogun who only nodded- to smile in reply. Volstagg laughed and wrapped his arms around all of his friends, crushing them into a group hug.

"We surely make an amazing group!" he exclaimed with joy, the other replying with a series of grunts.

"Quite the group indeed." a smooth voice mused from behind them. Volstagg blinked and let go of his friends, all of them turning to gaze upon Loki, the sword Thor had been using against Sif held in his right hand.

Loki! Good afternoon!" Thor smiled, walking towards his betrothed. Before he got closer, Loki raised the sword, pointing it towards the older male's chest.

"Pleasant days, Thor. Now please, if you will." he said politely, flipping the sword around so the hilt pointed at the thunder god.

"Loki… I am not…" the future king of Asgard trailed off, hearing a cough from Sif behind him.

"Surely you are not afraid to spar with me. I may not have done so for centuries, but I am a quick learner." the non-Aesir smirked, careful not to grip the sword enough to cause bleeding. Thor frowned and sighed, taking the sword carefully.

"You do not have a weapon." the Thunderer pointed out; relieved he would not have to fight the Jotun born. Loki chuckled and waved his hand, green light shooting out and twisting together to form a sword almost identical to Thor's, silver instead of gold.

"Oh my. I suppose I do now," the future queen of Asgard shrugged. "Now will you fight me?"

"Are you delirious? Loki, you have not sparred-" the older of the two began, cut off by watching his future wife take the familiar stance. The blond's memories flashed before his eyes; the day he taught Loki the stance, taught him how to hold a sword.

" _Scared_  of a little competition from your future queen?" Loki drawled, the smirk never leaving his face. " _Scared_ to lose?" at this, Thor poised himself for battle.

"You better be able to keep up." the thunder god warned, earning a laugh from the trickster.

"Oh, I think I can, love."


End file.
